Loss

On March 16th a woman named Kelley was killed by her husband. When I first read the article that reported her missing and that the report had been filed by her husband, I knew he killed her. I have followed the story until his arrest yesterday.
I don't know much about Kelley other than that she had four children. I know she was left on the side of the ride eighty miles after she had been shot in the head.
I worked with battered women for years. And this news still hits my heart so hard.
She died on May 16th, 2010.
Sometimes when I hear of a woman's death I try to remember exactly, precisely what I was doing at the time. Did I feel, in a moment, the loss? Was I aware of the loss is some small way that I can now identify? I want to know what I was doing while I was living life and this woman lost hers .... is there some clue, some activity of molecular or soulful vigilance that gives sisterhood warnings, make us more aware of the lives around us and of their absence. If there is a sign inside me, I want to recognize it.

Abortion Rights and Hens

What cute little pictures I posted on this blog last year. Damn.
Someone should have given me a hand and asked that I stop.
I am finally feeling better and moving on to politics and art.
No more hens sitting on puppy dogs to keep them warm and safe.

Moving on to the health care vote and amnesia. Seriously.
Oh yeah it's a beautiful thing, this health care vote and it is a starting place.
A starting place for more than the right to health care.
It is a starting place for the loss of rights in women's lives.
Well of course, this health care bill was going to cost somebody something
and naturally lets charge women's equality for it ... a woman's right to
reproductive health, autonomy, self-determination .... this vote is the beginning
of an end to abortion rights. Women will have to write two checks to obtain
abortion coverage through their insurance provider. It is separate and not
equal.

A Long Damn Time

It has been, a long damn time since I have written. I keep meaning for that not to happen, the long space of time.
Today I am wrapped up in the ugliness that has surrounded the health care vote here in the United States.
The language of hate that met legislators, African Americans and gay. I feel certain the hate existed for all time,
it never went away, it was under the surface and the bigotry in practice without claiming.
Now however, a mob mentality of unleashing hatred rhetoric, and perhaps movement toward a violence that
embraces the words ... many of us watch appalled. In my mind the mob scene of screaming hate emerged anew
with Sarah Palin's political rallies ... there was an urging toward a fevered pitch of anger at anyone other than
straight white christian conservatives.
But earlier today there was a connection made of hate language and calling women lesbians. I understand well
the impact of homophobia, but I question the comparison. If an African American is called an African American
I try to imagine the exchange ... it might go something like this, " yeah, that's right." "damn right and I am proud of
it, a proud black woman" .... if a lesbian is called a lesbian then something else happens often, it is seen a hate
language. I get confused here.
More often that not in the past several years of fighting for marriage equality lgbt folks run a rather constant
comparison of civil rights' work toward equality between African Americans and homosexual communities.
However, in the language example of hate speech given above there are apparent enormous differences .... the black
man on the street cannot hide his blackness, to call a black man black is to state the obvious. Hate speech is
hurled when the bigot uses other words to describe the blackness ... "n&&&&er" for example. But to call a black man
black is not hate speech. If the bigot called a group of white people "African Americans" it would recognized that in
all probability the individual had issues, but it would probably still be considered misidentification and blantantly stupid.
However if you call a lesbian a "lesbian" it is considered extreme hate speech by many and if you call a straight woman
a lesbian then it is considered hate speech.
The fact that we can pass affects our discrimination. The fact that most in Maine are white and can pass as straight certainly affects most of our vision in understanding oppression that cannot be denied. But if calling me lesbian is hate speech it is time to rethink the whole lgbt race comparison and it is time to redefine hate speech and no mistake hate speech with homophobia.
So the pride I feel as a lesbian, the pride I feel for "my people" is impossible, but to speak my name is to commit an
act of hate speech.
I wrote a little to that affect, that often strong women are called lesbian ... and one response was that strong women are not defined by sexual orientation .... imagine for a moment, the black man stating that not only was he black but that he was a
proud black man and the response being that color does not affect the strength of a man ... yes he might say, but I am strong in my blackness and my pride in who I am gives me strength.
And I say, I am strong in my lesbianism and my pride in who I am gives me strength.

Let's talk about FaceBook.
And my age.

Supposedly women over 50 make up the fastest growing population on Facebook.
I am over fifty.

But I find the atmosphere difficult.
In the beginning every time I got an announcement from someone about an event
I sent a thank you note for the invitation. Later I realized they were not making
an individual invitation, friends were pushing one button and inviting one
hundred and fifty folks.

I quit writing the thank you notes.

And here is something else, folks that have been disrespectful of my feminist views request to
be friends ... and I don't understand. The word Friend I think must mean something else on
FaceBook. And I know I have been accepted as a "Friend" when "Friend" is really not the case.

Language appears to be not so critical on FaceBook.

More later, must run.

A Different View

And it is raining.
Very hard.
I live on the third floor in a downtown building. I see rooftops from
where I live in the back of my building. The rain smacks down and runs
for the edges to the ground. Rooftops have seasons too.
In winter a chimney's smoke rises directly up and in straight line in
frigid cold. Just cold and the smoke meanders up unhurried.
This is a new view for me, here in the back.
I lived in the front with a view of Main Street, the roof tops not so
close but still a view of the chimneys across town working against Maine
cold.
Today the rains pours and two dogs need walking.

I just like this very much!